Diary of a Lone Wolf

On September 12, following hours of frantic armchair analysis of Apple’s announcements, the Internet once again devolved into a negative echo chamber of self-important dismissals and uninformed dissatisfaction. Tens, hundreds, and thousands of miles away from the only iPhone 5 units in the world, we busied our hands with masturbatory sentiments of boredom and unhappiness.

With the swathes of leaked images proven accurate, the rumor-mongering public suffered a collective gasp of accuracy. For the first time in years, our expectations had been set at precisely the correct point. Thus, rather than seeking to articulate what the iPhone 5 lacked, we instead vented our self-entitled boredom at the sight of one of the most thoughtfully engineered consumer electronics products of the past decade.

It’s starting to sound like Apple’s acquisitions of P.A. Semi and Intrinsity weren’t just to glue off-the-shelf GPUs and CPUs together, paint an Audi’s name on top, and call it a day.